Message

A Light in the Darkness

Rabbi Shawn MoirActs 8:1-8June 29, 2024

Transcript

Timestamps seek whichever format is playing — video or audio.

0:01 I like to invite Rabbi Sean up to pray for him as he delivers the message this morning. Father, I just come before you this morning just thanking you for your goodness and your mercy. Father, I thank you that your son has waited upon you to hear your word and Father, I ask that you would give him the strength to mount up. Father, let us be receptive. Let our heirs and eyes be open to what comes forth from your word as your servant has diligently prepared. Father, we just bless you and we ask that you would glorify yourself in this hour in the mighty name of Yeshua. Amen.

0:55 Thank you, Marcus. There it is. You can turn in your Bibles to Acts chapter eight. You have them with you. In my senior year of high school, I served as an intern for the FAA, the Federal Aviation Administration in the air traffic control tower at MacArthur Airport on Long Island. I learned how to communicate with aircraft and how to understand the screens and the instruments in the control tower. I developed relationships with the air traffic controllers and it seemed like a potential path. As I moved forward in planning

1:41 for the next steps of my life. My father drove me nearly nine hours as there was a school in Pennsylvania among the best in training air traffic controllers. The tour went well. The head of the New York Center gave me his recommendation. There was just one piece left to clear, which was to distinguish how my colorblindness would affect my path. There was little doubt at that time. Among those I spoke with that this obstacle could be overcome. I had tests scheduled at Kennedy Airport. I was brought into a brightly lit room with state-of-the-art equipment. Various tests were brought to assess my perception of color.

2:28 I failed all of them, although those I was working with tried to make it happen in every way that they could. There was no possibility for me to go forward. During my internship with the FAA, I had the opportunity to meet with the airport manager at Islip as he told me about his work and the necessary skills required for the job. I thought I could do this. There was a state school on Long Island with a program in airport management. I was accepted into the program and began classes in the fall of 2001. One of my first classes was with a professor named Louis Scala.

3:14 He also served as my academic advisor throughout the program. The school was about 45 minutes from my house or my mother's house to be more accurate. On the morning of my first class, I woke up sneezing with my nose running and my eyes watering. Allergy season was in full bloom and I needed some relief in order to face the day. I stopped at the CVS across the street as we sometimes have to do to get some allergy medication that I could take on my way to school. While the medication cleared up my allergies, I had failed to realize the severity of its side effects. The medication caused me to be extremely drowsy.

4:01 On the first day of college in a required course taught by my academic advisor, I quickly fell asleep on my desk. After the entire class had left the room, my buddy Frank shook me and woke me up. He asked what was wrong with me, and I told him I think I'd been knocked out by the medication I took since I had another class coming up that day and I felt like sleeping for another four hours. Frank suggested that we visit the campus coffee shop, Java City Cafe, and I think he had the right idea. I ordered the largest cup of coffee that they carried. It was giant, probably about the size of this water bottle.

4:47 They had a tall table where one could add whatever they needed to their coffee. I made it the way that I liked it, but when it was time to stir this giant cup of coffee, I could not find anything long enough to reach the bottom of the cup. It didn't help that I was still half asleep and I probably still had lines on my face from my hour long nap on my desk. Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared. In all seriousness, it wasn't an angel, but it might as well have been from across the table. A hand was reaching out to me with a giant straw that was able to plumb the depths of this gargantuan cup

5:34 receiving the straw. I lifted my eyes to see the gorgeous woman who had decided to help me in my altered state. I thanked her and hauled my cup to the table closest to the exit in hopes that I can interact with her. Just one more time. Before she left, I sat and talked with my buddy Frank, but I was distracted the entire time she was sitting with another girl. Our eyes locked a few times. It must have been my puffy face or disheveled look that captivated her. In any case, when it was time for her to leave, she passed me on my way to the door. I knew I only had a moment to make my intentions clear.

6:20 I looked her in the eye and said, I'll see you later. Frank looked at me puzzled and said, what was that? I knew that I needed to see her again. It was a big campus and I would need to find a strategy to find her. On the days that followed, I would walk the entire campus in between classes. Once I saw her from a distance and it was almost time for classes to begin, I called out, what's your name? The response I heard was caramel. Go figure. My other strategy to see her again was to go to Java City Cafe after Professor Scala's class.

7:07 Since we had met there at that time, once before, I figured there was a chance that we might meet there again. My plan was to sit down by myself at a table for two and have my coffee. If she came in, I would offer to buy her a cup and spontaneously set up our first date. Sure enough, after a day or two, she came in. Those who wait, I offered to buy her a cup of coffee and she accepted. She sat down with me and we must have talked for about an hour. I automatically felt like I could be transparent with her. She told me that her name was not caramel as I had supposed her name was ballerina.

7:53 We shared our stories with one another. I found myself telling her things that I probably wouldn't have planned to tell a girl on our first date, such as the story of my ex, as well as some of my troubles. Rather than running from me, she seemed genuinely interested. In retrospect, I realized that rather than being captivated by my charm, she saw me as someone who really needed help. She was thinking, this boy really needs the Lord. Perhaps she saw me as some kind of rescue mission. In any case, it became a regular practice for us to walk the campus and talk in between classes.

8:38 As we got to know one another better, I asked her if she had a boyfriend. No, she replied. I asked her if she wanted a boyfriend. No. She replied once While we were walking and talking, she was applying her lipstick. I told her that I wouldn't mind some of that myself, so she handed me the tube. Although she was saying she wasn't interested in a relationship, she continued to meet with me regularly. One day in between classes I offered to take her to the Wendy's across the street. As we sat at a table for two eating our chicken nuggets,

9:24 I pulled out a poem that I had written for her. It was quite long and I forget everything except the last line. Your name might not be caramel, but you are just as sweet as I sat across the table watching her expression as she read the poem. I believe that I witnessed the moment that the hooks set in 23 years later. I'm grateful that she continues to walk with me, but this is all incidental to the story that I wish to tell today. I had mentioned Professor Lu Scala, my advisor and teacher. Although Val and I were in relationship, a conflict remained for Val concerning the differences in our worldview. She was a Christian and I was somewhere on the atheist

10:12 slash agnostic spectrum. Although I wasn't bothered by her faith, I did not desire to take it on myself. This was the status of our relationship For about a year and a half, it was like a holding pattern. Val had come to know my professors as we spent lots of time together. It just so happened that Professor Scala was also the faculty leader of the Christian Fellowship Club on campus. I would later learn that Professor Scala and Val had discussed the nature of our relationship and had also committed to pray that I would come to know the Lord. I can confidently say that in spite of praying for me,

10:59 professor Liu never sought to push his faith on me. He taught me about aviation and helped me to choose classes each semester. Val also was careful not to push her faith on me The few times that she mentioned it, I would push back in such a way to let her know that I was not interested at all. On June 18th, 2003, nearly two years after we met, I would have my own encounter with the Lord culminating in me putting my faith in Yeshua at 3:00 AM on my mother's front lawn. It was the first time that I had experienced this kind of conviction and faith within my own heart. My passions and life direction changed immediately

11:46 though I was only halfway through my aviation degree. Now 20 years later, in retrospect, I can clearly see the way that the Lord orchestrated all of these things Through patience and prayer, Val and Professor Scala had helped to facilitate my encounter with the Lord. They had acted with integrity prior to me coming to faith. Now as a new believer, they help me to integrate my newfound faith with the present and future direction of my life. It just so happened in the fall after I came to faith that the Christian Fellowship Club on campus needed help. The leader for the past two years would be

12:31 transferring to Florida. Now they were in need of someone to take his place. The group was small, and though they were mature believers, none of them had the desire to lead the group. Although I was young in the faith, I had some leadership experience and enough zeal to knock over a building. Professor Lou and the group assured me that they would assist me in leading the group. A school club might not seem like such a big deal for me. It was life changing. Perhaps more than any season of my life, I saw the Lord respond to prayer and magnify himself. In our small efforts on campus,

13:17 we saw the club grow significantly and I made dear friends. We saw people come to faith on campus. We held car washes and campus events. By the time I was finished at the university, it was clear that the Lord wanted me to pursue further training as I continued to serve in various ministry roles. I've been thinking about Professor Scala a lot this week. Although he is not the type of person to seek credit, he has made a significant impact upon my life. Not only was he exemplary as an academic advisor and professor, but he was in the right position to help and steer my life at a crucial point. Without being forceful and while always respecting the boundaries of his roles

14:04 and responsibilities, he was uniquely gifted to be an agent of the Lord. Over 20 years later, he continues to serve faithfully at the same university. He manages to walk in integrity in both his profession and his faith. He served as the head of the aviation program as well as my academic advisor, as well as my first ministry oversight on campus. His ability to see and understand the different spheres of my young life helped me to successfully complete my aviation degree even after my passions had changed. He even helped me land my first aviation job after college, which helped me to transition to seminary

14:52 and ministry in Missouri where I would unexpectedly become involved with Messianic Judaism. Professor Liu was one of the only people to show up at my wedding with Val, which happened quickly after we were immersed by Val's father. In the fall of 2003, Lou and his wife Anabel came out to show their support and he has remained an unwavering friend. It was just this week that I realized that naming our daughter Anabel may have been influenced by the positive association that I've always had with Professor Liu and his wife Annabel. It just so happens that somehow Professor Liu streams our Shabbat services from New York.

15:41 Professor Liu, thank you for your friendship and the way that you have served as a faithful mentor to me. Over the years when I signed up for a degree in aviation administration, I had no idea that I was signing up for an encounter with the God of my father's. I'm sure that you have often felt like an outsider within your own environment. Yet I am grateful that the Lord has chosen to place you as a light in the darkness. While many would not be able to handle the tensions that exist in following the Lord, within the confines of a secular university, you have managed to serve the Lord faithfully while also honoring the institution where you serve.

16:27 Even in recent years, you continue to be recognized for your service to the faculty, staff, and students. That began before I was born. To clarify that is over four decades of excellence in your commitment to the Lord and the community where you serve. I was reading about one of the more recent awards that Professor Lou received from the university. Again, please understand that this is a state university in New York where he serves as an aviation professor. After recognizing his teaching, scholarship and service, they quote Professor Scala's philosophy. A true servant is a person who exhibits the characteristics

17:14 of a parent, coach, and professional slash spiritual mentor. Professor Li, thank you for the impact that you have made upon my life. Through prayer, teaching counsel and service, your ministry is surprising and effective. I had no idea when I went to college that I was stepping on to sacred ground. You have shown me that God is present and active even in the most unexpected places. You have shown me that no situation is outside of God's purview. Lou and Annabel, may the Lord bless you, your family, ministry and service to the community. I am just one life that you have impacted, but I know that there are countless others.

17:59 May the Lord encourage you in your service of Him one another and those you'll be a witness to. The title of my message Today is a Light in the Darkness. It comes from Acts chapter eight, verses one through eight. There are three principles that I'd like to highlight from this passage. First, there is no situation outside of God's purview. Second, God is actively involved in the situations that you face even if you don't understand, and lastly, God wants you to be a light in the darkness. God is active and present in our lives and we are called to walk in his ways and make him known.

18:48 My outline can be found on the YouVersion app and I will be reading from the Tree of Life version Acts chapter eight verses one through two, read as follows. Now, Saul was in agreement with Stephen's execution. On that day, a great persecution arose against Messiah's community in Jerusalem and they were all scattered throughout the region of Judea and Samaria except the emissaries. Some devout men buried Stephen and mourned deeply for him. What situation do you suppose is outside of God's purview?

19:36 Things had gone from bad to worse. At this point. The Talde understood that it was necessary that Yeshua died in order to fulfill the scriptures. Peter and John had already suffered for the sake of their message, Stephen's trial and death must have sent shockwaves throughout the community. It is easy for us to look back and see the good that came out of Stephen's death. However, at that time, I'm sure that it did not feel good at all. Stephen was their brother faithful, reputable, and full of wisdom. God was working powerfully through his life and I'm sure that his brutal death was devastating news

20:23 to the body of Yeshua. Even in light of the excruciating loss of Stephen, it did not satisfy those in power. Rather it further enraged and inflamed the division and persecution of Yeshua's followers. Saul was obviously in a supervisory position as those who murdered Steven laid their cloaks at Saul's feet. Remember last week's illusion to King Saul who attempted to murder David. Luke is not only relaying facts. He's a captivating storyteller. He is a masterful screenwriter. He is setting up the next scene. He's alluding to historical events.

21:10 He's weaving together a message of hope in the way that he tells the story. I'm sure the body of Yeshua's followers were going through all kinds of emotions at this time. People feared for their lives. Some were probably ready to follow Stephen into martyrdom. Others probably wanted to retaliate with violence. Some thought that they should leave Jerusalem to protect themselves. Some thought that they should leave Jerusalem in order to carry out Yeshua's mandate to take the good news from Jerusalem through all Judah and Samaria and to the end of the earth. Some may have felt safer in Jerusalem while others stayed. In order to stand firm

21:56 and give hope to the body of Yeshua we're all mixed bags when it comes to our desires and motivations. A crisis like this can divide relationships when friends find themselves on different sides of an issue. Even today, consuming news and media can turn us into crisis junkies looking for the next bombshell. To justify or panic, politicians know that you don't waste a good crisis, but rather spin it to accomplish your goals. Scholars debate the reason why the emissaries remained in Jerusalem. Perhaps they felt responsible to hold firm and show leadership and a willingness to follow Stephen's example if necessary.

22:45 Eventually, nearly all of the apostles would. Perhaps the San Hedron was seeing that murdering Stephen did not help their cause. Another theory is that persecution was coming to the Hellen. I don't see any indication that Saul would go easy on any Messianic Jews regardless of their cultural background. There is also some debate concerning the devout men who mourned and buried Stephen. In Acts chapter two verse five, Luke uses the same word devout to describe those who came to Jerusalem. For Shavuot, they were not yet Yeshua followers.

23:32 A case can be made that those who buried and sat Shiva for Stephen were members of the sand hen who did not approve of his stoning. Perhaps they approved of the stoning but thought that a Jew should have a proper burial. Luke does not specify the de these details. However, it is notable that immediately upon his death, Jewish people recognize and mourn for Stephen, even people of prominence. I believe that this is comparable to Joseph of Arimathea who assumed responsibility for the body of Yeshua after his death. Remember, Luke is pointing out the similarities that exist between Yeshua and his followers of whom Stephen is a notable example.

24:19 There is a process for Jewish people to embrace Yeshua as Messiah. It does not typically happen in a day even for Saul. His persecution of believers was part of his process of coming to faith. It seems that there were those within the San Hedron who may have been impacted by Yeshua's ministry, by the testimony and death of Stephen and by the message of faith of the Messianic Jewish community. While Luke doesn't explicitly tell us the status of the devout men who buried and mourn for Stephen, I believe it is possible that these are Jewish men of authority who had not yet professed Yeshua,

25:05 but realized that Stephen was at a righteous one. We also live in turbulent times and our response is important. The war in Israel, the political divide, headlines and scandals all seem to wanna push us into pandemonium and chaos. How can you trust God in such a tumult? How can you hear the voice of the Lord in the midst of such mayhem? While we may not be able to change the impulses that we feel, we can decide how we will respond to these impulses. We can also choose where we will focus and what our goal will be. Yeshua summed up the Torah by saying to love God

25:52 and love your neighbor. This teaching alone can occupy an entire lifetime. How much time are you spending consuming media that causes you to be increasingly panicked and paranoid rather than producing the peace of Yeshua? Acts eight verse three reads as follows, but Saul was destroying Messiah's community entering house after house and dragging off men and women. He was throwing them into prison. God is actively involved in the situations you face even and maybe especially if you don't understand.

26:38 I'm sure there were those even within the community of faith who would have desired to see Paul be put to death at this time. He was clearly carrying out horrendous deeds against the community of faith, which we should not tolerate, right? Perhaps when we think of the apostle Paul, Ralph Shaul, we tend to think of an older man with eye issues full of wisdom, sometimes having a temper, a man who is faithful and willing to follow the Lord regardless of circumstance. Yet in Acts eight, we see a different picture. Saul is murderous, driven, ruthless. While there are surely things

27:24 that changed about Saul when he met Yeshua, I'm not sure that his personality changed too much. His goals changed dramatically. His beliefs and his methods certainly changed. However, Saul seemed to believe that his efforts to destroy Yeshua's followers were pleasing to the Lord. This man clearly had zeal even if it was misdirected. We see his leadership capacity, authoritative presence, and drive both before and after he comes to faith in Yeshua. It's interesting that they are putting believers in prison

28:09 at this point rather than killing them. It is possible that they realized that putting believers to death like they did with Yeshua and Steven didn't destroy the body of faith. Rather paradoxically, somehow the deaths of the faithful only caused Yeshua's community to enlarge and grow stronger. There is a liturgical piece that we often sing called Y or it is simultaneously thrilling and terrifying. God creates light. God creates darkness. God creates all things and we bless his name. It may be comfortable for us to associate nice

28:56 and peaceful things with the Lord and to attribute everything else to the adversary. However, I believe that we give the adversary too much credit. God tests us. God sends calamity. God strikes us and heals us. He's not safe. God allows good people to suffer. Consider Yeshua. If God suffers, we are not exempt. There is an element of God that is comforting and peaceful. However, there is an element of God that is wild, uncontrollable, forceful, and beyond our comprehension. If you don't believe me, read the book of Ezekiel herein Acts.

29:44 Some believers may have been wondering why God was silent or absent. How could he allow such persecution of the body of Yeshua? However, God was far from being absent or silent. God was moving even though it may not have seemed like it. In the words of Kurt Vonnegut, the excrement had hit the air conditioner. These were turbulent times and though it would've been difficult to understand, God was present and active. Are there situations in your personal life that you don't understand? I don't know about you, but there is plenty in this world and within my own life that I don't understand.

30:33 I don't know what to do with it. I have tension. I have mixed feelings. I have more questions than answers. However, I think this is normal. I don't expect to comprehend a good deal of following Yeshua is the willingness to embrace mystery and ambiguity we see through a glass darkly. There is great relief in knowing that you do not need to know everything. Trusting God is the ability to follow God's clear instruction. However, not everything is so clear. While it is not wrong to seek out the questions within our hearts, ultimately we must be willing to recognize our limitations

31:21 and surrender the illusion of control. Some people may say that you cannot understand the scriptures apart from the original languages. In my experience, most of the time the original language says exactly what the English translation says. While there may be examples where the original language gives some additional insight, this can also be explained in one's native language. One advantage that I have found in studying Hebrew, however, has more to do with philosophy. Studying Greek on the other hand, has caused me great misery. Here's what I love about Hebrew. Oftentimes, one encounters a challenging word or phrase.

32:08 Perhaps that word can mean three or more things. Depending on how you look at it. It is left unresolved. It might mean A, B, or C. It might somehow mean all three at the same time, we can wrestle with the word, but ultimately we walk away with a limp. It is more than we can comprehend and greater than we can handle. I do not think this lessens the impact of God's. It causes me to realize that while my understanding is limited, God is infinite and no matter how much I grow, he will always be far beyond what I could ask or understand. The ambiguity of the Hebrew language invites me into the

32:56 mystery of God that goes far beyond my limitations. Acts eight verses four through eight read as follows. Now, those who had been scattered went around proclaiming the the word. Philip went down to the main city of Samaria and proclaimed the Messiah. To them, the crowds were paying close attention to what Philip was saying as they both heard and saw the signs that he was doing. For unclean spirits were coming out of many who were plagued, shrieking with a loud voice. Many paralyzed and crippled were healed also, so there was great joy in that city.

33:45 God wants you to be a light in the darkness. The new challenger approaches. Luke is an expert in dropping new characters and creating interest. Although Philip is mentioned alongside Steven in chapter six here, Luke begins to introduce us to Philip's ministry. Perhaps you are seeing a pattern in Luke's narrative style. Those who have been scattered went along proclaiming the word seems like a straightforward statement. However, have you ever been scattered? I've been scatterbrained many times.

34:31 Here we have people being displaced and dispersed into new and foreign territories. Has this ever happened to you? Being forced to leave your home and wandering into unknown regions is one of the most challenging human predicaments. It is a picture of vulnerability as the safety and comforts of home and familiar culture are lost. Furthermore, by traveling beyond your usual boundaries, you are forced to face your own biases and to be confronted by other cultures and perspectives. Yet those who were scattered did not run into hiding. Rather, they saw their current predicament as an opportunity to carry out the mission of Israel,

35:17 which is being a light to the nations. It is interesting that this week's Torah portion is shela because the community of faith is receiving a shellac ink. I'm just kidding. The Hebrew verb Shelac means to send just as, as Moses sent 12 spies into the land. The followers of Yeshua are now being sent out from Jerusalem to Judah, Samaria, and to the ends of the earth. They are not running from trouble. If they were, they simply would've hidden themselves and ceased from mentioning Yeshua. However, they went forth both proclaiming the word and ministering in the power of the AK Hakodesh.

36:06 I'm fascinated by the aspect of sending and gathering between God and his people as a Jew in the diaspora. While I have enjoyed traveling to Israel, I have not felt called to return. However, for others, they are compelled and I don't think that one is right and the other is wrong. Rather, like in Act chapter eight, God's people are called to be a light to the nations. That might mean that we need to travel to other nations in order to be a light. It could also mean that God desires the faithful to be a light within Israel that is seen by other nations. Again, this is a mystery I'm willing to live with, realizing

36:51 that God is both sending and gathering his people, accomplishing his purposes as we seek to respond to his leading in our lives. God gives us a great deal of freedom in seeking him and discerning his will. Even within our text today, we see that some were compelled to remain in Jerusalem while others carried the word to regions beyond. Both were necessary then and both are necessary today. As we see within the Gospels, Samaritans, were not always held within high reg with high regard in Israel. Samaria was the region of Israel between Judah in the south and Galilee in the north.

37:36 While it may have seemed controversial for the word to be proclaimed and received by Samaritans, Yeshua of course ministered to Samaritans and spoke well of them even when it went against popular opinion. Yeshua's followers were being called to challenge their own cultural biases and to interact with all cultures for his sake. It is no coincidence that God is at work within communities who have been outcasts. Being a marginal person is humbling. It causes us to question ourselves in ways that we were not if our perspectives were celebrated by society. Although I do not wish to contribute to a victim mentality

38:22 as a Messianic Jew, I realize that I face rejection from other Jews as well as a good deal of understanding or misunderstanding from Gentiles. I believe that this social pressure to conform to norms of society sometimes causes Messianic Jews to abandon their faith in Yeshua in order to be better regarded or embraced within a particular community. It is important that we have our own relationship with Yeshua so that we can stand firm in the face of ridicule and testing. Additionally, it is essential that we find credible community within the body of Yeshua so that we can encourage one another

39:08 to not only hold onto our faith in Yeshua, but to become witnesses to his power in our lives. If we desire to impact the world around us for Yeshua, we must be willing to take the initial steps of faith. We may think that we will take bold steps if God does miraculous things first. However, in Philip's example, he begins to go to the outcast of Israel and to proclaim Yeshua. First, what follows is the miraculous presence of God confirming his word through signs and wonders. I believe that Philip would've continued ministering the word even if he hadn't seen signs and wonders.

39:53 Those carrying the arc had to step into the Jordan before the waters parted, Peter had to step out of the boat before walking on the water. Philip had to go and proclaim the word before seeing the miracles. Additionally, the activity of God is not a cookie cutter. It looked different for Moses than it did for Joshua. It looked different for Saul than it did for Philip. We can make the mistake of thinking that God is absent, not understanding that he might want to do something different with us than someone else. Are you willing to sacrifice your image of what you think God is supposed to do in your life? Are you willing to surrender to his calling

40:39 even if it is different than what you want or imagined for yourself? I'm not sure what Professor Lou imagined his life would be like as a young man. I, I haven't asked him the question, but I would be surprised if he had envisioned himself being a witness to Yeshua at a state university in New York for over four decades of his life. If we were to pause Luke's narrative right here, I'm fairly sure that young Saul had no idea what was about to happen or what God was about to do in his life. I'm sure he was pretty confident in his own views and envisioned a far different future for himself. Are we willing to follow the Lord even when it doesn't match

41:27 our perceptions of what we thought our lives would be? God is calling us to be light in the darkness. At times, we may wonder whether we are bringing any light at all. At times, we may feel consumed by the darkness around us. If we're not careful, we can even be consumed by the darkness within us. If you've ever woken up around 3:00 AM you'll know that not every thought and emotion is helpful. Like Steven, we must fix our gaze upon Yeshua in the midst of the turbulence of our own minds and the world around us. When our emotions and world events try to pull us in all directions, we must look to Yeshua

42:15 who has the ability to speak to the waves and calm the seas. If we are faithful to weather the storms that life brings, he will be faithful to use our small contributions to magnify the name of the Lord. In conclusion, God is active and present in our lives and we are called to walk in his ways to make him known. As you prepare to step into a new week, I invite you to consider whether there is some situation in your life that you suppose God is not aware of. Remember that God is actively involved in the situations you face, even if you don't understand, and lastly, be encouraged that God is calling you two

43:03 to be a light in the darkness. Shabbat shalom, You

44:00 In the name of our Messiah, Yeshua. Amen.